Dear Momma Hattie,
I have recently become involved in a new relationship. I have known this guy for close to a year. In the beginning, we were excellent friends and were both in extended relationships. In time we both broke up with our mates and found that we were looking for each other. We put all our feelings out on the table, and then suddenly, things seemed weird.
He stopped calling me as much, and our communication started breaking down. We worked through it and continued our relationship. But once again, things got a bit rocky. I asked him why and he said he wasn't sure he wanted a committed relationship anymore. We worked through it again. I have fallen for him completely. Now I want to tell him I love him. How do I do that not knowing that he might not love me or he might bail?
Sincerely,
Meri
Dear Meri,
Feelings are a funny thing. I used to love ketchup on my scrambled eggs; I do not at all anymore. More on that, I cannot pinpoint when I stop liking and eating them that way. But now, the mere thought of ketchup on my eggs disgusts me. I am not trying to make little the love of a human being and equate it to scrambled eggs. However, it seems that the gentleman you believe you have fallen for is not quite ready for a real commitment. Read the signs he has been giving and understand if you jump into the "I love you," he may clam up again. Relationships build over time, and it seems, although you were friends for a year, he cannot commit to anything long-term. You might want to wait on the "I love you" a bit longer.
There are never any guarantees in life, especially in relationships. If you have doubts (and by writing the above letter, it is clear that you do), your gut is telling you something. Could you get to know him longer? Allow him to get to know you. Keep building on that excellent friendship you started. Communicate your feelings (without the "I love you") and be sure you can build trust in one another. I am sure your gut will let you know when the time is right.
Love Lots; Smile Often
MommaHattie